Since turning 30 at the end of last year, I've been in a reflective mood. One area that I've always struggled with is self confidence. I've never been a particularly confident person, in my teens I had a lot of issues with self worth but as I've grown older I've noticed a change. I guess that's what has encouraged me to write this post and to share a few things that I've learnt/realised about confidence.
Confidence grows with age.
When I was younger, I used to hear so many people say this and I truly didn't believe it. However, I can honestly say its true. As I've got older, I've become more comfortable with myself and that's not to say I wouldn't change anything as I would like to be a bit more toned, have nicer hair etc. For me, self confidence has become about self-acceptance and caring less what people think. Years ago, I wouldn't leave the house without eyeliner and lipstick, whereas these days I really don't care. Worrying what everyone thinks about you doesn't get you anywhere and to be frank,people are too busy to care. Accepting yourself for how you are is an important part of being confident.
Confidence isn't a reflection of how you look
Though I do think things like getting a new hair cut, loosing weight, buying new clothes etc can give you a boost in the short term, I really believe true confidence comes from within. If you don't believe in yourself, how can you expect anyone else to? If you don't like yourself, you're going to be unhappy, regardless of how you look.
Comparing yourself to others gets you nowhere
I mentioned this quote in another post but I love the saying 'dont compare your beginning to someone elses middle'. Everyone is different and I think its wastes so much time when you constantly look at what others are doing. I'm never going to look like a supermodel or have things that others have but that's ok.
Being around negative people can affect you.
I've learnt its best to walk away from people who put you down. Usually its more a refection of themselves - putting people down to make themselves feel better. Self confidence grows with positive energy and more so when you're surrounded by positive people. A person with a positive mind is more likely to feel better about themselves than someone full of negative thoughts.
Confidence can come from unlikely places.
For me, blogging has given me a confidence that I didn't have before, probably as when I started it was something out of my comfort zone. Sometimes doing things that you wouldn't normally consider (obviously legal things) can break any aspect of self doubt. If you don't give something a try, then how do you know what will happen?
Having a bit of belief in yourself can make you realise how many goals you could achieve (realistic goals - I'm not talking about fame and fortune). I do have a book, that's really helped me to change my way of thinking somewhat (I'll do a post on it soon) but sometimes a bit of reflection on life can give you food for thought.